morn·ing fa·tigue

Fact: I am not a morning person. 

This isn't entirely my fault--night owl genes have replicated in all my family members. However, it isn't entirely not my fault either. 

While it's pretty normal for someone in the family unit to call at midnight and not wake anyone up on the receiving end because we're all just up late naturally, my choices to consistently stay up way too late doing lord knows what certainly don't help my redeye problem in the early a.m. 

Can you identify with this? 

For whatever reason, I just can't go to bed on time. Doing this too often during the work week has resulted in some rather interesting side effects too. Eventually, one--not both--of my eyes will become irritated and take on a lurid red glow. Routine questions always come to mind as I survey the veins straining in my sclera courtesy of the bathroom mirror at 6:00 a.m.

  1. Why did I choose to not sleep enough this week, out of personal choice, and cause this issue?
  2. Why is only my right eye affected? (Not that I want both eyes struggling, but it seems unbalanced somehow, and peculiar.)

This has happened a handful of times, earning me the temporary nickname Cyclops. While I can’t answer the second question about the right eye, I do have some insight on the first.

Why did I choose not to sleep enough? Because I hate going to bed.

Yes, that is crazy, and yes, it ends up making me crazy, including my eyes, but I do it anyway because it’s a vice I have always had. For Anika the Kid, bedtime was sad time. There’s no fun in going to bed! Lying there in the quiet darkness merely emphasized the emptiness I felt after other tough events, like when the credits rolled post Sesame Street episode, the last in my daily string of PBS shows. No Big Bird or Mr. Snuffleupagus until tomorrow? That was sobering. I felt the same sort of pang while snuggled in my bed-–it wasn’t fear of any monsters in the closet that made me resist sleep-–it was boredom.

And not much has changed. After work, my afternoon and evening is marked not only by time passing, but by me checking on the time that is passing. What time is it now? How about now? What I’m really asking is how much of this day do I still have left at my disposal before it’s forever lost?

Conclusion: I’m selfish about my time.

Retribution: Red Eye.

I'm getting back into my work schedule now with summer coming to a close--I know, I know, boo hoo for me who's enjoyed a whole summer to myself. (#sorry...#notsorry) Because of this, I'm not only adjusting to my new hours, but also contemplating how to maximize my potential as a human and achieve it all. Should be doable, right? 

Well. This little sleep resistance issue by default is first on the agenda. 

While I can certainly attempt to shift my habits in a healthier direction, I actually think the attempt to motivate myself to do as much as possible each day will guide my quest with even more success. I'm thinking I'll be so legitimately exhausted after a few days, I force my own eyelids shut and snooze my way to victory!

... ... ... 

What do you think? 

I'll report back later with results that I sincerely hope do not include 1 or 2 red eyes, but that do include a more balanced creative who's got plans....

Cheers to a happy & productive week! 

"Zzz" Art Print available in the shop!  

© 2016, Anika Zebron Design


Anika Zebron